It's a Alien!
by JerseyGirl
Summary: Jake Clawson bought a comic book that has a guide to see if a baby's a real alien. If you like Jake Clawson fics, or kittens in them, or like to find out about his past, then read this to find out what's going to happen to him! FIC IS FINALY FINISHED
1. Gotta get Issue number thirteen!

Hiya! It's me again, are ya guys getting sick of me yet? :) This is my third Swat Kats Fic (yay!) Anyway, it is part of the series and as always, there is no back reading required, but if you want to go ahead, I don't mind, I REALLY don't mind. Oh yeah, the disclaimer...  
  
Disclaimer: I, the author, do not own Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron or any of the characters. However, I own the characters that I made up.  
This is not only General, but it has humor and all that other stuff that makes up a general...that's what all generals are like? Right? I'm finishing my second epp (Tricked) which will probably be finish by next week or this week...a note for people who want to know...  
umm...Oh yeah, here it goes, and as always, I always say...   
  
I hope this fic doesn't suck...  
  
It's an Alien!  
  
  
One autumn afternoon in Mega Kat City, a scrawny orange colored kitten who was wearing his favorite denim overalls, striped white and light blue shirt, black converse sneakers and red hat was running down the streets holding a old red book bag screaming, " Gotta get issue number thirteen, gotta get issue number thirteen, gotta get number thirteen! Gotta get number thirteen before it's sold out!" said the little cat.   
Finally, he found the usual newspaper stand he goes to everyday, he stopped running and started to skid on the sidewalk making a cloud of smoke almost knocking kittens and cats down and he stopped right in front of the newspaper stand, the cat who owned the newsstand said,  
" Whoa slow down Jake, where's the fire at?"  
" Pops!" Jake was breathing hard and he had to squat down to rest, he was sweating a lot, a whole lot, and with every word he said he tried to catch his breath, " Pops...Do you...have iss... issue number thirteen in stock? M-must ... need it ...now..."   
Finally, Jake collapsed on the ground. With his eyes closed.   
Pops was worried, because not only Jake collapsed right in front of him and was possibly near death, but also he didn't want other cats to think that a kitten died right in front of his newsstand, he didn't want that reputation.   
Quickly, Pops jumped out of the newspaper stand (which he could do at that time because he was a few years younger) and picked up Jake (who was very light at the time). He made Jake sit up on top of the counter. " Hold on kid. I got some soda's in the cooler."  
He jumped back into the stand and opened a small cooler that was underneath the counter and pulled out a grape soda, " Ya like grape Jake?"  
Jake just raised his shoulders and said, " I don't know..."  
Pops opened the soda and quickly Jake drank it very quickly, and seconds latter the little kitten recovered and smiled, " Thanks Pops!"  
" Jake you had me worried," scolded Pops, " Why were ya runnin' here so fast!?"  
" To get issue number thirteen of Dr. Katkill's True Super Secret Scary UFO Stories and Facts." Said Jake.   
"Let me see..." Pops went under the counter again, and minutes latter he popped up holding a comic book in his hand, " Today's your lucky day Jake, you got the last one!"  
" Bingo!" Jake shouted. He grabbed the comic book right off of Pop's hands, and jumped off the counter.  
" That'll be one dollar please."  
Jake went into his pocket and took out one dollar in quarters, And Put it on the counter. While putting the comic book carefully into his old book bag, he proudly said, " I didn't eat lunch at school thru Tuesday to today, whaddya think Pops? Huh?"   
" You skipped lunch!? Jake your only eight years old you can't skip lunch for a whole week. No wonder you're always skinny." Pop's took the money and put it in the register, " Hey Jake didn't you had a new member in the family?"  
" Yep." Jake's mood change from happy to suspicious, " Her name is Josie and I don't like her. She cries and screams all night and all day! I can't read any of my comics 'cause she screams a lot. I can't even sleep during bedtime because she's crying all night. When she was born, Daddy picked me up and she didn't look like us, she look kinda like a rat. Between me and you...I think she's a alien."  
" I don't think your baby sister's an alien Jake." Said Pops, " Baby kittens allways look ugly when there born anyway."  
" That's why I needed number thirteen, it has a guide that tells you if the baby is a alien or not." Jake said. He sounded very serious, " If she's a alien, I may have to do some premobileoperations on her and do equasions by multiplying by the circunfrence of pie. Ya know grown up stuff to contaminate her and vaccination her, or it."  
Pops couldn't help laughing inside, trying not to burst out laughing Pops grinned, " Yeah, Jake. Happy alien hunting, and next time, eat your lunch at school! I'm not going anywhere no time soon."  
" Don't worry Pop's I'm gonna eat lunch next week until issue number fourteen comes out." Jake started to walk home waving his hand and shouted, " Catcha' next time Pops."  
" C'ya kid," Pops said," AND WALK DON'T RUN HOME!"  
Watching Jake walking down the street, Pops said," Multiply by the circunfrence slice of pie. Premobileoperations. Baby's an alien," Pops shook his head and had to smile at himself,  
"Boy can Jake give you a laugh, but I'm glad he's not my son...he's gonna give the Clawson's a heart attack one day."  
  
  
  
End of Chapter one  
  
  
Yep, you guys guest it. It's Jake...only eight years older. What's gonna happen? Don't ask me 'cause I dont know! C'ya till the next chapter!  
And you guys can review anyway you want...doesent matter :)  
  
Jerseygirl  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2: Nothing but the C word.

It's an Alien   
Chapter 2   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron, or any of the copyrighted characters.   
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was actually DONE with this story a LONG TIME AGO. Unfourntuetly, FF.net was down and I couldnt post it. Anyway, here goes chapter two...I hope this doesent suck...   
  
  
Glad that he got his comic book and a free grape soda. A joyful Jake Clawson was skipping down the non-paved alleyway heading for home singing his most favorite song in the whole wide world, and that song is Bingo.   
  
'There was a farmer who had a cow and Bingo was his name-O'   
  
Singing the sound loudly, Jake remembers as far back when he was a little kitten his mom sang it to him when she use to tucked him to bed. She still does that now, but not as much as Jake would like it to be, she usually sing it to Josie more often now. Come to think of it, she rarely tucks Jake into bed nowadays.   
  
'B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O,B-I-N-G-O and BINGO was his name-O'   
  
' How could Josie, a alien baby thingamajig can actually contemblate a song like this.' Jake thought angrily. He then remembered that he had a comic book in his book bag that he did not read yet. Quickly, Jake took the raggedy book bag off his back and unzipped it, taking out issue number thirteen of " Super Secret UFO Stories and Facts." The cover was a shekat who was wearing a red dress screaming in fear at a UFO ship that was landing on the top of a yellow Victorian style house in the middle of the suburbs during the nighttime. Jake made a smirk he thought that was funny. Underneath the terrified shekat was bright green bloody message Jake read aloud,   
  
FACTS TO KNOW IF A BABY IS AN ALIEN! By Christen Kattails Page 7   
  
" Great, Page seven." Said Jake. He put his book bag back on, tuned the comic book to page seven, and started to read while walking home. He had a way of reading and walking at the same time. It read,   
  
Our crack team investigators at our offices have found out that UFO's are invading Earth, not by abductions or walking as adult cats in countries around the world, but as cutie little defenseless...BABY KITTENS!   
  
" Wow!" Jake said under his breath, " I can't believe it." He continued to read the introduction,   
  
These alien baby kittens home planet is from Mars, then west for thirty light years and you're at the planet NATAPO. The planet is about to explode due to the over mining of copper and special beans called "Lima Beans"! The reason why they want Earth is because of our rich atmosphere and hair. These aliens age range are two years two three. You can't see them when their children because they are a small, round, see through egg inside the host. The host can be any female cats ages 12 to 60, preferably older women who can handle their enormous weight.   
  
Jake thought back and remembered when Josie was inside Mom she was big. Jake gasped, " Oh no! Mom was a host!" Quickly Jake read again and it said:   
  
When the alien is at adult stage, they come out of the host through their nose holes or ears. It is a very painful experience for the host. So painful that the host has to go to the hospital and have a special operation team that works with the aliens to safely take the alien out of the mother's stomach. The doctors don't really care about the host they just stitch her nose back together so nobody can notice. When the baby exits out of the host, they look like a wet rat. Over the few days, they can look like a normal baby kitten, but note that at this time there are at the peak of their power! They can control some cats while there innocently sucking on a bottle of milk. Now we have ten ways to see if your baby brother or sister is a alien.   
Jake look at the list and number one said,   
  
1. DOES YOUR BABY BROTHER OR SISTER PUKE EVERY DAY OR WEEK CONTINUOUSLY?   
  
Jake thought for a while and he did remember that Josie always throwing up, from time to time. " Hey, She does do that!" Jake continued to read until he knocked right into somebody causing Jake to fall right on his tail. " Owie! Whydja did that Jake!" yelled the small squeaky voice.   
Trying to figure out what happen, Jake climbed right back up again and notice that his comic book was out of his hands, in fact the comic book was out of sight.   
" H-hey? Did ya seen my book!? I-I just got it a few hours ago." Jake said, nearly sobbing. Though he said he had it for a few hours, it was actually three minutes. He couldn't believe that he just bought a comic book and then he lost it, it wasn't even a day that went by.   
" I gots it." Said the shekat happily. Jake look at the little shekat and he knew exactly who she is.   
" Ginger?" Jake said feebly, " Is that you?"   
Jake was right, it was Ginger Imakatski (Pronounced: Im a kat ski) she sat behind Jake in Ms. Thomson's class. She was the same height as Jake and had peach colored fur and blond hair that was tied into a red bow. Jake tries to avoid her at school but she always wanted to sit next to Jake, if there is an assembly in school, when its story time in the class, anything. But no matter how much she sit next to him, Jake didn't like her at all. She wasn't mean, she just do things that he thought was stupid... In fact, at that time, all girls were stupid according to Jake.   
" Guess what Jake," Ginger got up from the ground, without any help from Jake, and brushed off some dirt off her pink jumper with white poka-dots, " My Daddy's gonna get me a New Malibu Carmi doll!"   
" So..." Jake said it as if he didn't care, " Can I have my comic book back. I need it, I hafta make a special preoccupation in a couple of hours."   
" Uhh..." Ginger made a long thought and she said, " Ok." She handed Jake the book nicely.   
' Hmm...' Jake thought, ' I guess girls aren't that stupid after all.' But before Jake can walk home with his comic book Ginger recited,   
" Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, now I got my cootie shot."   
All of a sudden color from Jake's face faded, 'how could I forgot! Ginger got the cooties from Tommy yesterday!' Jake started to run around in circles with his hands in the air, holding the comic book screaming, " I'm affected! I'm affected! I'm Affected- hey! GOTTA GET GINGER!"   
Ginger shook her head and pulled out her hand to stop Jake in his tracks, " Not so fast Mister Clawson, I got my shots! You can't break the law it's the rule of the city and the whole wide world, and... and the whole galaxy...and...and... I can tell Daddy ya broke the law because h-he's a para...para...uhh...umm...par-a-beagle? Yeah, he's a parabegal and he can throw you in jail!"   
Quickly Jake ran out of the alleyway, followed by Ginger. Jake franticly looked around worried, " I-I need to get this catamination to some other kid! I can't have the cooties!"   
  
Jake picture what would happen if he went to school with cooties. Nobody wouldn't play with him during recess or sit next to him in school. The truth is, nobody wouldn't play with Jake in school or outside. Everyone thinks he's weird because he always read comic books, he even wrote a book report on " Captain Arden and the Kitten Wonder" but he got a D minus because it was suppose to be a book, not a comic book. How could he forget while the teacher scolded him and told him to go to his desk, which was in the middle of the classroom. All the kittens were snickering at him or looking at him plain weird, except Ginger who was asleep in class that day. What was worse about that whole ordeal was when the kids whispered some comments to him.   
" Hey Skinny Clawson. I think ya did the wrong report."   
" Where did you come from ya crazy cat? Outer space?"   
" Plain stoopid Clawson."   
The only kids that would play with him or talk to him is the kindergarten kids, first graders, and the second graders, but they don't know better, they cant even play games right, and Jake don't see any of the younger kids playing in recess or outside. Usually they're at home getting a snack or taking a nap.   
Jake scanned the neighborhood he lived in and found a small urban playground, " Hey! There's kittens in there!" Jake ran off, running towards the playground reaching out his hand running toward the first kitten he sees, and he was about to touch that cat until a familiar voice yelled out, "EVERYOUN' RUN AWAY! HE GOT DA COOTIES!"   
And that familiar voice was Brenden Imakatski. He's one of the unpopular fourth graders in Jake's school. He hates kids who are in his grade and kids who's a grade lower then him, even kids who is a grade higher them him. Except Ginger, that's his little sister, but he still teaser her but he dislikes Jake with a passion. He's not really smart, he's just plain dumb, he failed the forth grade twice. And he has a habit of picking his nose and ears with his finger.   
" EVERYOUN' RUN AWAY! HE GOT DA COOTIES!" Brenden shouted again while laughing stupidly sticking his finger in his ear. All the kittens in the park screamed at the sight of Jake and everybody cleared the area leaving Jake and Brenden all alone. Ginger ran up to Jake and shouted, " What happened Jake?!"   
" Brenden told everyone I got the Cooties," Jake said, he sounded angry. Brenden pulled out the finger out of his ear and made a high pitched laugh and shouted, " Ya soulda seen ya face when I told all of em' that you got the Cooties! Funny! All thoe's stooped lil' un's runnin' for dair lives."   
" Whydja did that Brenden!?" Ginger screamed at her brother, " It's not funny, He can't have the Cooties!" Ginger said while standing on Jake's right hand side,   
" Ooooohhhh," Brenden laughed and pointed at Jake and Ginger, " Jakie Wakie has Ginger Finster, as a little baby girlfriend! Aww, how sweet." Brendan continued to laugh at the two cats who were turning red. Ginger tighten her fist and growled, " Jake is not my stupid boyfriend, and dats Imakatski to you, STUPID."   
" Yous stupid! Stupid!" Brenden barked at his sister,   
" You are!"   
" Yous is!"   
" You are!"   
" SHUT YA TRAP!" Brenden yelled, " Anyways, I was looking for ya to tell ya Pop's home, he has dat stupid doll dat ya was tellin' 'im about."   
Ginger mood change totally and she said with glee, " Really!? Golly Brended why didn't ya tell me! Oh boy!" Brenden dig into his nose and flick whatever he caught, " Yeah, he saids go'n get it or he's gonna throw it in da trash or somethin'."   
Quickly Ginger turned to Jake and said, " Sorry Jake we gotta do this some other day I gotta play with my new doll!" Then like a bolt of lighting she ran home. Brenden, walking slowly after his sister turned around and wave his hand, " See ya on Monday Jake."   
" W-w-WAIT! What about my Cooties! I CAN'T have 'EM!" Jake angrily yelled into the sky, " Girls are stupid! Especially ones name Ginger Imakatski!"   
Finally, Jake was the only one in the park. Some wind picked up and out of nowhere a tumbleweed (the brown circle things that rolls around out in the desert) started rolling across the park passing Jake. Feeling he lost a battle, he look at his comic book and smiled, " At least I got my comic book back." Jake notice it wasn't too far from his house so he started to run down the city streets, even though Pops told him not to, thinking, 'Maybe Josie has somethin' to do with this...Yeah! Josie has something to do with this! She controlled Ginger to affect me and stupid Brenden to tell everybody to run away. Wow, she's a alien AND have special powers!"


	3. Part 2 of Chapter 2: 357 Beginnings Stre...

It's An Alien!   
Part 2 of Chapter 2   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron, or any of the copyrighted characters.   
  
  
With all the delays Jake encountered, he finally arrived at his house 357 Beginnings Street. It wasn't like the houses in Kinaki** where they had big front and back yards, had white picket fences, and cows. Jake's house was in Mega Kat City so that means it's small and houses usually have two floors, but the Clawson's were lucky because they have a attic which they converted into a room. Around the front of the house is a small yard that had a medium size gate around it. It was those types of gates that a teenage cat can jump over easily and cut holes through. The house was painted white but the paint was starting to chip off, making it look worn out and halfway dilapidated looking. It has a small porch that had the floors painted light blue and different size brown flowerpots that's filled with green plants and one chair that had a pillow, but in front of the chair was a large hole that was the size of a grown tomcats foot.   
Jake walked up to the gate that surrounds his house and swing it open, running towards his so familiar white colored door with the black 357 nailed onto it. He pushed the doorbell and shouting happily,   
" Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I'm home!"   
Jake could hear someone coming towards the door and locking it. Beaming with joy Jake grinned and when the door finally opened,   
" Hi! Mom-HEY-where's Mommy?"   
It was Jake's older brother Jeff. He is a eleven years old cat going to turn twelve in one month, he use to be the same height as Jake but then he grow twelve inches and five more. He had most of Jake's features: Dark orange fur, slim, and had Jake's yellow eyes. Although some say their eye color is black, some say its yellow, some say it's amber, some say it's burgundy, and some say their Rosemary's children, only the Clawson's know there kids true eye color... and they're not telling anybody. The only thing that separates Jeff from Jake is that his fur on his face is and strait, unlike Jake's he has volume.   
" Mom's in the backyard with Josie." Jeff said. After a minute of two of Jeff trying to not let Jake go through the door Jake crawled underneath his legs. Jake got up on his feet and threw his book bag and hat onto the walkway floor, and started to run towards the backyard door. Jeff huffed and picked up Jake's bookbag and shouted Jake's full name, " Hey Jacoby!" (Pronounced: Ja co bee)   
Jake turned around, and thought ' I hate that name it's so stupid! Why wouldn't mom or dad give me a cool name like Killer or Frankenstein, but no, they named Jacoby.' Jake turned around and said threateningly, " Don't call me that Jeffery, it's JAKE J-A-K-umm-E."   
Jeff rolled his eye's and brushed him off, " Whatever Jacoby, but don't be thrashing my bookbag all over the place. Everything that's in your room and the book bag is still MINE!"   
Jake knew he was kind of right, to the toys, the old comic books, the bed, his room, his book bag, and mostly all his clothes, was Jeff's. At one point, it was Jeff's who use to have all the stuff, but Jake remember when he was a little kitten his Mom and Dad use to take Jeff shopping and give him the new stuff and then he would get Jeff's old stuff. The few items in his room that was his and not Jeff's was the new comic books and his clothes that he had on today. Mom and Dad wouldn't bought him the new clothes if he didn't use his Jr. Chemical set wrong and blew himself up, staining his clothes a shade of green, and even his fur. It took about a week to get the green tint off of him.   
  
Jake continued to walk down the hallway with the ageing old white wallpaper with small red flowers and headed towards the kitchen. The familiar small Kitchen was painted sunny yellow and had two windows that was over the kitchen sink. It had white cupboards that look really old, an old 50' style fridge, and in the middle of the black and white title floors was a table that had four chairs and a high baby seat. Right next to the fridge was the backyard door, which was colored white. He turned the bronze colored knob and opened it leading to the backyard.   
The yard was only small enough to have a shed, a clothesline for the clothes to dry, and some little space for a BBQ, but the Clawson's didn't have one. The backyard had a high homemade fence, which was made up of old wooden billboard signs that were faded due to harsh weather, some of the boards were crooked and some are nearly falling off. In the upper right hand side was a tree, it's leaves were changing brown since because the days are getting colder.   
" Jacoby! Is that you honey?" A voice so familiar to Jake called out. Jake turned his head looking for the source of her voice, he yelled, " Mommy! Where are you?"   
" I'm behind this white sheet honey, don't you see my shadow?" The familiar voice said. Jake ran to the clothesline and pulled the covers back and it was his-   
" Mommy!" Jake shouted happily.   
Jake's Mom was a petite she kat with light brown fur and long black wavy hair that she put up in a quick bun on top. She was wearing light blue tights and a large T-shirt that reads Tea for Two. Jake tried to figure out what the T-shirt mean, but he didn't get it. She uses to be skinny but ever since Josie was born, she had a little bit of weight, which Dad didn't seem to mind.   
" So Jake how was school today did you learn something interesting?" asked Mom. She always asked Jake this question as long as he could remember going to school. She always praised Jake on how he mad a cursive A's good, his test scores, and how good he was in class. Though there was the time that he messed up on his book report but she wasn't that mad, and after Jake told what happened at school she always give his favorite snack in the whole wide world, chocolate chip cookies and a cold glass of milk. But Jake never tell any of his parents about how the kids didn't play with him or talk to him, he didn't want them to know because he doesn't want them to worry. Before Jake can even say a sentence Jeff burst open the back door, walk over to Mom, and asked, " Hey Mom can I borrow five dollars?"   
" Wha?" Mom look at Jeff with her eyes arched and asked, " What did you do with the ten dollar bill I gave to you yesterday?"   
" Well the one dollar was for lunch and then I went to Chuck's pizza place and arcade palace after school and-"   
Jake pulled on Mom's sweatpants and wined," Mommy I was suppose to-"   
Mom looked at Jake with an apologetic look in her eyes and said, " Oh. I'm so sorry Jake-"   
" Jake go get your snack yourself, I'm trying to get something here." Jeff said with haste.   
Then all of a sudden Josie started crying. Mom looked and noticed that her pacifier slid out of her mouth, " Oh dear, Jake could you do me a favor and put the pacifier back into her mouth."   
Jake look at the baby playpen that was underneath a tree, Jake frowned and thought, ' Josie's possibly an alien I don't know if she could make me sick!' He looked at his mother again and said, " B-but!"   
" Please sweetie I'll give you a extra cookie," Mom said.   
Jake shook his head and slowly walked over to the playpen that was underneath the tree. He poked his head into it and looked at Josie.   
Josie was a one-month-old baby kitten. Like the whole family she had the signature eye color, she have the same fur color like her mother and on top of her head was jet black fluffy curly hair, and like Jeff she had longer fur on her face. She was crying her little eyes out because right next to her was her pink pacifier. Jake picked up the pacifier and inspected it thinking, " Maybe this is a device to contact the other world she came from. No wonder she always have it in her mouth sucking it-"   
" Jake you moron just put the thing in her mouth!" Jeff yelled. Jake looked at the pacifier and Josie and whispered, " You better not spit some acid onto my face you alien." Jake carefully sticks the pacifier into Josie's mouth. Josie took a few sucks and she smiled making some cooing noise, grabbed a block, and threw it at Jake's nose. Jake gave a loud yelp and Josie made a little laugh at Jake.   
" Ow! Mom did you see that! She's defected take her back!" Jake yelled. But Mom was more focused on Jeff who just finished telling the story. Mom scolded, " How on Earth did you waste nine dollars on one videogame? That's nine dollars down the hole."   
" But mom it's Super Katino Brother's that game is awesome!"   
" I don't care if it's the best pinball-"   
" Video game," Jeff corrected, " Video game mom, not pinball."   
" Ohh, it is, I always keep getting that wrong," Then Mom notice that she was going off the subject, she snaped, " Anyway, do you see a money tree around here? No. Were not made out of money Jeff you should of know better."   
All of a sudden, inside the shack, there was a big explosion causing black smoke to start going underneath the door and small windows. The door burst opened and a tomcat that was covered with black soot was walking in a zigzag line out of the shed, he stopped, rubbed his eyes and coughed black smoke out of his mouth, " Well. It didn't work this time guys." Said the Tomcat. He collapsed onto the grass. Mom ran towards the tomcat, knelled down, and shouted, " Jonathan...Honey! Are you all right say something!"   
Jeff ran to the backyard door, open it, and ran inside the kitchen. Jake ran towards the tomcat and said, " Daddy? Are you ok?"   
Dad sit up and brush himself off and gave a smile to reassured his family that he was ok, " I'm alright, I guess I did something wrong when I was tightening the screws back there." He brushed off the soot and he was halfway clean.   
His fur color was just like Jake's, he even has Jake's eyes, Jake's size and everything (when Jake gets older), only thing that Jake didn't take after was his long strait hairs on his face, he was also beginning to grow whiskers too.   
Dad's hobby is to make new inventions so his job can be easier. Jake remember Mom telling him when they first met in college he wanted to be a inventor and she wanted to be a photographer when they graduated college, but there was that Valentines day party and they got Jeff instead. So, they dropped out of school and got married in court, but the judge felt sorry for them and they had a reception in the courthouse. Luckily, Dad won the tenth prize lottery for six thousand dollars and one cent, but they got the house for exactly six thousand dollars left with one cent.   
" Damn! If I didn't tighten the stupid screws I coulda had it, or maybe the damn thing would of blown up anyway. " Dad said.   
" John I don't want you swearing around the kids, " said Mom, " We don't want all our kids cursing left to right in our house, do we..."   
Dad smiled apologetically and looked at Mom, " Opps, sorry Patty, it slipped."   
Jake remembered that there was a rule that there is no swearing, especially the major swear words. If Mom or Dad found out that you cursed you'll be in trouble. Jake never said any words like that, but sometimes Jeff used some major swear words while having conversations on the phone with his friends.   
Dad got up to his feat and brushed off the soot from off his pants. Jake ran out of the kitchen with a tall glass of water, ran towards Dad, and drank the glass of water. When Jeff finish the glass of water he and burped, " Ahh, excuse me. That quenched my thirst."   
Dad, Mom, and Jake look at Jeff with a blank stare. Jeff looked at them and asked, " What I do wrong?"   
" Why am I not surprise?" Dad said casually.   
Josie was playing with the rattler until she sat up, look around, and screamed. Jake covered his ears and yelled, " Dad! Can we cut her off?!" However, Dad wasn't listening, he walked towards the playpen, picked her up and lifted her up in the air, and smiled up at Josie and laughed,   
" Hiya Josie! Did the big bad explosion scare you sweetie? Huh? Huh?"   
" Please Dad dont speak like that again...ever." Said Jeff. Dad look at Josie and started to make funny faces at her. Josie took the pacifier out her mouth and made a cutie little laugh and she threw the pacifier at Jake's eye.   
" OW!" Jake yelled while covering his injured eye, " Why is she always throwing stuff at me all the time!?" Swiftly, Jeff put a headlock on Jake and yelled, " NOOGIE!" he formed his hand in a fist and burrowed into Jake's head. " OW! Jeff stop it that hurts!" Jake pleaded. Jeff laughed and torture Jake some more, " Maybe she's saying she's gonna torture you when she can walk and talk, Jacoby."   
" Jeff stop torturing your brother." Dad said automatically. Jeff laughed and lightly pushed Jake away, probably because he was board bothering him anyway. Mom inspected Dad dirty face and laughed, " Honey, I think you need to clean your face again, you still have that black stuff all over you."   
" Huh? Oh yeah you're right Patty I gotta get clean again the dinner with the boss is only a couple of hours away." Dad quickly opened the backdoor and went inside the house. Mom looked at the shirt Josie's was wearing which was a long pink shirt. It had had that black stuff all over it, probably from Dad picking up Josie. Mom smiled and said, " Josie your dirty again aren't 'cha cutie pie," Mom tickled Josie and she made some cute baby kitten laughs. Mom walk towards the backyard door with Josie in her arms and went inside the house.   
Now Jeff and Jake were all alone in the backyard. Jake backed away from Jeff slowly and begged, " Please don't do a Noggie on me again."   
Jeff rolled his eyes at Jake and said, " I'm not gonna bother you...for now." Jake sat down Indian style and Jeff just sat on the ground with his legs spread out, he claims it stops the growth of his legs.   
"So what the heck did you do at old Manx's Elementary School?" Jeff asked, though it sound like he wasn't interested. Until he graduated the fifth grade last year, Manx's Elementary School use to be Jeff's elementary school. Jake thought for a while and said, " I had to play dodgeball at gym time again today..."   
" Really?" He sounded more interested; he always liked to hear anything that involves Jake the words, Gym, Dodgeball, or Rope climb. Jake pulled out some grass from the ground and threw it away, " Why does Ginger always hafta be the one who throws the ball and I have ta be the one who get's hit all the stupid time."   
" Maybe she likes you." Jeff said nonchalantly, but then he burst out laughing and collapsed on the ground curled up in a ball, " No wonder! She's sits behind you in class, she probably the only girl nice to ya, hell-"   
" Jeff! I heard that!" Mom yelled, through the small bathroom window that's on the second floor.   
" Uhh...heck-" Jeff continued, " She has a crush on you."   
Jake look at Jeff with fear and screamed, " W-w-what!? What's a crush?" Jeff look at his little brother and said, " You don't know what crush means? I knew you was dumb Jake but not stupid...Umm...how can I tell ya?" Jeff thought for a while how to tell Jake what does crush means, finally he figure it out, " Ok Jake this is what it means...It means that she doesn't just like you." Jeff made a wide smile and nodded his head "She likes you likes you Jake."   
" B-but I don't like her like her!" Jake protested. He stand up and walk around in a circle explaining to Jeff, " I don't even like her...well...I like her like her but I just like her but she's just someone I know in school and 'cause she's nice to me at and she likes me and I like her and- I DON'T LIKE HER LIKE HER! She's a girl, all girls are stupid- Jeff stop laughing I'm not kidding- Girl's are stupid!"   
Jeff laughed some more and said, " You're not gonna say " girls are stupid" anymore when you're my age. Your gonna be wishing Ginger was around you all the time Jake. ALL-THE-TIME."   
Jake stopped and yelled, " I don't like Ginger! I DON'T LIKE HER LIKE HER AT ALL!"   
" Uh huh..." Jeff said, sounding like he didn't believe in Jake. He stand up, brushed the grass from off his jeans and walk to the backdoor, " Well c'ya Jake...hehe I cant believe Jake has a girlfriend and I dont even have a girl's number.." And Jeff went inside the house.   
" GINGER IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Jake yelled even though Jeff did not hear him. He stomped on the ground out of frustration, ' I don't like Ginger she's stupid,' Jake thought, ' I don't know what's Jeff talking about, I'm never gonna like girls when I grow up!'   
A chilly breeze went by Jake and he shivered. Then something popped into his head, ' Hey, Ginger started to like me like me-even though I don't like her like her- all around when Josie was born...Hey! Maybe Josie's controlling Ginger so she can spy me!' Jake ran towards the back door and opened it, " I gotta go get my book bag so I can see if she's an alien once and for all."   
  
  
After Jake ran inside the house to get his bookbag, he ran up the old creaky stairs and ran down a wooden floor hallway, the hallway has two doors on the left and three on the right. The first door on the right side of the hallway near the stairs is the bathroom; the second door next to the bathroom was the attic room, which was Jeff's new room the last room next to Jeff's attic room, was Mom and Dad's room. On the left side of the hallway the door across from the bathroom door is Josie's room, which use to be Jake's old room. Next to Josie's room was Jake's door that had a sign that is written in blue crayons that read, JaKe'S RoOM StaY oUT JeFF and JOSie!! (And back then Jake's penmanship was pretty bad.)   
  
Jake quickly opened his door and closed it. The shape of his room is a small rectangle painted powder blue and the floors were bare except for a rug that was next to Jeff's old twin size bed which is now Jake's that on the right side of the room. The left side of his room was Jeff's old dresser filled with hand me downs, and Jeff's old toy chest filled with his old toys. At the front of his room was Jeff's old wooden desk; it was very worn out from all the carving's of phone numbers, carvings of shapes, and hearts with some girl's names in it and Jeff's. Jake had some models of fighter planes, crayons, and some other stuff scattered on the desk. Over the desk is the window that in the front of the house, you can see the whole neighborhood, the tall buildings, the big clock that's part of city hall, and on clear nights, you can even see the Enforcer Headquarters lights.   
Jake zipped open his bookbag and pored out all the stuff out of it. Finally, his comic book fell out, " Bingo!" Jake said happily. He threw the bookbag on the floor, snatched the comic book, sat right into his desk, and opened it to page that he left off.   
  
Finally, Jake finished the list in the comic book. It states that if a baby cannot walk, screams constantly, giggles a lot, throws stuff at you or constantly suck on things then it's a alien. Jake said to himself with amazement, " Josie is an alien. " Jake slumped onto his chair and look outside the window, the sun was setting over the city horizon and usually Jake watch the sunset and wonders does the moon wake up and the sun sleeps, or is it the other way around? But now he was worried. He had an alien among his family, not a friendly one, but a mind controlling, highly dangerous alien. He looked at the comic book again and it read,   
  
HOW TO DESTROY A BABY ALIEN: NEXT PAGE.   
  
Quickly, Jake turned the page and he read aloud,   
" The only way to destroy the baby alien is, to move your family out of the house. On the other hand, you can make your own potion of cooked snails, sugar, toasted bread, fish eggs, a strand of hair of the host, spaghetti noodles (cooked), rice pudding, and a cup of tapioca pudding and nice cold mincemeat. Put it all in one bowl, mix it, and take the strand of hair out and poor the continents over the alien. If it melts, it's a alien, because these types of aliens are highly allergic of this potion because there molecular structure can't deal with the snail slime and DNA of cats and food. If it does not melt then it's a normal baby kitten. Good luck on your alien hunting! - Christen Longtails.   
  
Jake slumped on his desk chair. He knew that he didn't have tapioca pudding or any of that stuff in the house, except for the strand of hair. He couldn't make toast because Dad tried to fix the toaster by putting a fork inside and the fork ended up stuck inside the toaster. He took out a sheet of paper from out his notebook, took an orange crayon and wrote down a list of all the stuff that he needed to make this potion.   
" I guess I can get the hair from Mommy and Daddy's room." Jake shrugged. He jump out of his seat and was about to open his door until Dad opened the door instead,   
" Hiya kiddo," Dad said happily, he put his hand on top of Jake's hair and made it stick out in all directions Jake giggled. Dad smiled and said, " Jake, do you remember when me and Mommy told you in the morning that your gonna be staying at home with Josie because me, Mommy and Jeff get to go to a spechial dinner with somebody?"   
Jake shook his head and answered, " Yep."   
" Well, we called every babysitter we can think of and it seems like you terrorized so many babysitters over the years that when we say Jake they hang up or either scream in fear, so ya commin' with us Jake."   
Jake scratch his head and said grumpily, " Do I have to dress up Daddy?"   
Dad threw the multi colored light brown sweater, light brown pants, white-collar shirt, and blue tie on Jake's bed, " Yep. The tie's a clip on so you won't suffocate when you try to put it on this time." He gave Jake the thumbs up sign and smiled, " Ok Jake?"   
Jake shook his head and said gloomily, " Ok Daddy..."   
For as long as Jake could remember, he hate dressing up. The last time he worn a tie was at his uncle's Paul's wedding day. He made it so tight that he passed out during the wedding, fell on the walkway causing his Aunt Sheri to trip over him, and broke her ankle and ripping her wedding dress and causing the wedding to be postponed for five months until she could walk again.   
  
Jake opened the door and walked out his room, and was surprise to see his mother waiting for him. Mom gasped and smiled, " Oh my goodness, Jacoby you look so handsome in your clothes."   
" Uhh...I am?" Jake asked halfheartedly.   
Mom nodded and smiled, " Yep, You look so much like your brother."   
For some odd reason Jake took this as an insult. Mom continued, "I'm gonna go get my camera and I can take all you guys together. I'll be right back." Mom walked away and headed downstairs. Jake looked at himself, shrugged his shoulders and said, " I don't look nice at all I'm just in stupid clothes-" Jake reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his list and unfolded it. He carefully read the list and Jake said casually, " I guess I can get the hair now." Jake folded back his list and put it back in his pocket and walk towards his parents room door and open it.   
  
Mom and Dad's room was the shape of a long rectangle and the walls are painted milky white. Like Jake's room, the floor was bare except for a blue rectangle size rug that was on each side of the bed. The two widows that were on each side of the bed were facing the backyard, other urban houses and other buildings of Mega Kat City. Right next to Jake was a dresser and a mirror and on the other side of the dresser was-   
" Mommy's brush!" Jake grinned at the sight of the brush and he walked over and grabbed the brush. Jake inspected it and finally he found a long strand of black wavy hair.   
" Bingo!" Jake said quietly. Jake pulled out the strand of hair and was about to put it inside his pocket, but then he changed his mind. He took out the list and halfway unfolded it and he put it inside and folded it back up again. Then all of a sudden Jake felt a hand on his shoulder, he shouted and turned around quickly, and it was Jeff, wearing clothes exactly like Jake's, except his tie was wine-red.   
" What are you doing in Mom and Dad's room?" Jeff asked suspiciously, he folded his arms and had a judging look at Jake. "Did you let something alive and slimy get loose in Mom and Dad's room again like last time?"   
Jake shook his head and waved his hands, " No! No! I just wanted the-uhh-" Jake look at the brush and quickly he grabbed it and started brushing his hair with it, " I just wanted the brush to-uhh-brush my hair 'n stuff." Jake made a nervous laugh, " Yes sir ree! Brush my hair, Tee he he."   
" Well stop, Mom want us out in the front yard she found her camera and she's gonna take our picture." Jeff grab's Jake's arm and dragged him out of the room and dragged him down stairs.   
  
Jeff finally got Jake downstairs and down into the front yard. Mom was looking through her lens on her black camera. Mom hair was down to her back and he was wearing a sapphire blue dress that reach to her knees. Dad was wearing a black suite and red tie and he was holding Josie was wearing a pink dress with a cute little bow still sucking on her pacifier.   
Mom finally fixed the camera and shouted like she was singing, " Ok guys I got the camera fixed. Now everyone get together- Jonathan go in the middle please and Jake go on you're the right- now I'm gonna start the timer- Jake your Left not your right- ok now in one, two- oh Jonathan can you fix Jacoby's hair it looks like a mess. I'm gonna start the timer now- Jeff don't do that behind your brother- all right one last time, and don't you do it too Jonathan. I'm going to start...now!" Mom pushed the timer on ten seconds and jogged over to Dad's left side. There was a bright flash and Jake saw seen through dots all over the place. Jeff grabbed Jake and said, " C'mon Jake, it's time to go get some free chow."   
  
  
After hours of traffic, Jeff giving Jake wet willies, Josie screaming because the pacifier fell out her mouth, and Josie throwing stuff at Jake. The Clawsons finally arrived at Café a la City but had to wait for a half an hour to get a parking space. Jake jumped out of the car followed by Jeff who was holding Josie. Dad voted himself to go inside because he did not want Jeff and Jake to go inside and wait incase if they did something to make them banned out of the building. Mom took over holding Josie because Jeff was complaining that she was getting heavy, so. Jeff was board so he started giving Jake noogies again,   
" C'mon Jake say uncle,"   
" No!" Jake was hitting Jeff on the arms but it didn't hurt that much.   
" Say it!" Jeff said again.   
" Noooo!" Jake yelled while swinging his fist everywhere.   
Mom closed her eyes and her eyebrow twitch mom roared, " Freeze!"   
Jeff and Jake stop in their traps. Mom looked at Jeff and Jake with her stern eyes and said, " It's because of you two that me and your father are permanently banned from five restaurants until both you guys turn eighteen! Now here are the rules for you Jeffery: no noggies, no pranks, no torture, np wet willies, no disgusting jokes about stuff that exits out of the body or in, and be on your best behavior."   
" Aw man.." Jeff gloomily said. He put his hands in his pocket and mumbled, " This is going to be lame."   
" And as for YOU Jacoby no weird stuff, no stunts, no yelling, no shouting of alien presents in the buildings, please don't order food that your not going to eat, no standing on the tables or chairs, and Jake if there's any candles on the table and their lit do NOT touch them Jake, ok boys?"   
Jeff softly burrowed his elbow on Jake's side and grinned, " Yeah Jacoby."   
" I MEAN IT! THE BOTH OF YOU!" Mom shouted. Some of the pedestrians were looking at Mom very nervously. Dad poked his head out of the door and shouted, " Hey guys there here we can go inside now."   
  
  
Inside there was white clothes draped over the table and red pretty flowers id different color vases filled with cats talking, eating and some gazing into each others eyes. There were autograph black and white pictures squeezed together all over a wall that was near the entrance door on the rose colored wall, a lot of movie stars but most of them were politicians from Mega Kat City. In the middle of the restaurant was a rectangular size table with seven chairs and one high chair. That was on the other end of the table. One light colored middle age shecat with strawberry colored hair that was in a beehive style, one large gray cat with brown tabby stripes, and one pretty girl with long black hair and black eyes who look like she was around Jeff's age.   
" Wow! This isn't gonna be lame night after all." Jeff said to himself. Jake rolled his eyes at his lovestrucked brother. The Clawson family walked over to the three cats and said hello. The large gray cat rise up and shake Dad's hand and kindly said in his South Western accent loudly, " Howdy their Clawson! How are ya doin' this eavenin'?" looked like he was nervous, he made a weak smile and said, " I-I'm doin' o-k-k-okay Mr. Houston." Mr. Houston patted Dad on the back very hard, almost causing Dad to fall. Mr. Houston made a big hearty laugh, and smiled, "Hey Clawson who's the folks ova there, ya kin?"   
" Uhh- Oh! Umm- this is my family the baby is Josie she was just born a month ago." Mr. Houston looked at Josie and tickled her little stomach, Josie eyes brighten up and she wiggled and giggled. The large cat grinned, " Why, this little puddin' is the cutest little babe I've ever seen!" Mr. Houston look up and saw mom's face, he said tenderly, " and who's this nice lookin' lady ova here Clawson?"   
" That's my w-w-wife Patricia Clawson." Said Dad.   
" Well no wonder the babe's a cutie pie. Nice to meet you Patricia," Mr. Houston took Mom's hand and lightly kissed it. Mom laughed nervously and said, " Uhh- You can call me Patty ya know."   
Mr. Houston look at Jeff and shook his hand, " Nice to meat ya young man, what's ya name?"   
" Uhh..." Jeff kept looking at the black haired girl who waved at him. Jeff finally snapped out of it and said, " Jeff! My name is Jeff-uhh-I think." Jeff stared at the girl again with drool on the corner of his mouth."   
And who's this little feller," Jake became scared and went behind Jeff's back, Mr. Houston put on a friendly smile and said " C'mon son what'cha name is?" Jake said his name but he stuttered on the J. Mr. Houston patted Dad on the back and he almost fell over, then Mr. Houston laughed, " Well Clawson looks like ya got a shy one in the family huh?"   
" Y-yeah Jake's pretty shy, I-I kinda don't blame him." Dad said smiling nervously.   
" Oh yeah you're probably don't know what the heck these people are at the table huh?" Mr. Houston said, "Well the lady with the red hair is Abigail Houston, she's the misses."   
Ms. Houston waved her hand and put on a friendly smile, " Howdy y'all, how ya guys are doin'?" Mr. Houston continued, " And the pretty lil' un is my niece, Amber Millington."   
" Hello Jeff." Amber said lovingly. She didn't have a South Western accent like her aunt and uncle. Jeff said hello stupidly.   
  
Minutes went by and everybody was talking except Jeff and Amber. Amber was gazing into Jeff's eyes asking him questions while Jeff was stuttering left to right. Mr. Houston was finishing drinking his red wine and said, " Clawson ya know what? Of all the...well heck you're the only one and Jose off of accounting, but you're the best road exterior painter in the city."   
" Dad blushed and smiled, " Well thank you s-sir. I work hard even though the work is kinda tedious." Jake tugged om mom's dress and wispered, " Mom what's a road exterrier painter?"   
" Your father's the guy who paints the white lines on the road." Mom said proudly.   
Then it hit Jake he needed toast and all that other stuff. He remembered in school that a restaurant has a lot of ingredients and food, so a big kitchen like that got to have toaster...that doesn't have a fork stuck inside it. Jake tapped on his mothers shoulder again and asked, " Umm Mom, where's the bathroom? I gotta go."   
Mom searched the area and found a sign that read restroom; the restrooms were near the kitchen doors were waiters walking in and out. Mom pointed to the bathroom doors and wispered to Jake,, " Jake please don't try to see how much toilet paper you can flush down in one flush, that's why we got kicked out in restaurant number two."   
" Ok mom. I'll be right back." Jake walked over to the restroom but when Mom wasn't looking and everybody was too busy looking at Jake, he ran start through the kitchen doors.   
  
  
Jake thought the kitchen was very clean, until he think he saw something crawl across the floor, so he considered it halfway clean. There were pots, pans, and a bunch of cooking utensils hanging on the ceiling. There were silver colored stoves that were spewing fire up in the air and there where chefs that flips food up in the air like on TV. Jake pulled out his list and carefully opened it, because the hair was inside it,   
" Well I got the hair now I need all the other stuff. Jake started to walk deeper and deeper in the kitchen. It was surprising that none of the grown ups notice him. Maybe it was because all the cats were busy doing their job. Jake sat on a wooden box marked carrots and sighed, " I've been walking for hours and I still didn't see a toaster." Even though Jake said he was walking for hours, he was only walking for three minutes. A large peach colored tabby walked in front of Jake holding up boxes of something called Mom's famous Tapioca pudding he couldn't see Jake because there view was blocked.   
" Hey delivery is here, where do I put all these boxes at?" said the large peach colored tabby. A tall dark furred cat with yellow eyes with a navy blue cap marked Enforcers walked over and said, " I can take it from hear, where do I sign?"   
The large tabby gave him a chart and pointed to the places where he was suppose to sign, " Thank you uhh-"   
" Call me Ferral." Feral said shaking the large tabby's hand. The large tabby was about to walk away until, " Hey can I ask a question?"   
" Sure shoot."   
" If you're an enforcer then why the hell are you working in storage?"   
Feral thought for a while and said, " Because being an enforcer doesn't really pay much, and I'm trying to bring some money in so I can take my fiancé, Kura and me, out of town for a couple of days."   
The large tabby laughed and smiled, " I know what you mean Feral, I'm a writer and that never brings in money so I gotta be a delivery man so I can support me and my kids."   
" What are your kids names?" Feral asked.   
" I got a son, name Chance, and I got a younger daughter name Ally."   
A large chef walked over to feral and roared, " WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FERAL?! TO STAND AROUND AND HAVE FREAKIN' CONVERSATIONS ALL NIGHT!? GET BACK TO WORK OR I'LL FIRE YOU ON THE SPOT!" The large chief stomp away grumbling about something. Feral rolled his eyes and said, " I got to get back to work man, c'ya around- uhh-"   
" Charlie. C'ya around Feral." Charlie walked away from Feral and headed to the back door. Feral sighed and mumbled, " Man I hate that guy, always yellin' at me...one day I'm gonna...."   
Feral took the boxes of tapioca pudding and thought out loud, " Where am I suppose to put this stuff at?"   
" Hey Feral what's that stuff, tapioca pudding'?" said a scrawny looking cat, " I need a jar of that stuff." The scrawny cat reach into the box and pulled out a gallon size of Mom's Famous Tapioca Pudding, " This guys orderin' all this weird stuff, like mincemeat pie, tapioca pudding, spaghetti n' meatballs, escargots smothered in fish eggs-"   
" What are escargots?" Feral asked.   
" Dude it's, like, cooked snails from France, nasty stuff. And he wanted sugar, toasted bread and rice pudding." The scrawny cat walked away fast, followed along by Jake.   
  
The scrawny cat slammed the jar of tapioca pudding on the table, flipped the lid open, and carelesly tossed it behind him. He took a small bowl and a large spoon and scoop up the pudding out of the large jar and put it inside the small bow. The pudding was oozeing out of the corners of the bowl and the scrawny cat realized his mistake, " Opps, I guess I put to much." He took the small bowl of tapioca pudding and swiftly walked away. Jake tried to reach the jar of pudding but he was too short so he took a crate of lettuce and stand on that. Jake eyes brightened and he said with awe, " Wow. I found it." On that small table, Jake found all the stuff that he needed, the spaghetti that was cooked, the sugar, the toast, the snails, the mincemeat, the rice pudding, the fish eggs, and the tapioca pudding. Right next to the gallon of tapioca was a big silver bowl with a large wooden stick.   
Jake rolled up his sleeves and grabbed the gallon of tapioca pudding," I guess I start with this stuff." Jake poured the pudding into the bowl, then he took the toast and crumbled it up, then the fish eggs, the rice pudding the mincemeat, the sugar and the cooked spaghetti, and the cooked snails. He took out the list, pulled out the strand of hair, and threw it inside the mix of food. He mixed the stuff together and just like the direction said he pulled out the one strand of mom's hair.   
" Bingo! The alien potion is done!" Jake said happily. He grabbed the bowl of alien potion and started to walk towards the doors until,   
" HEY KID WHAT ARE YA DOIN'!" Jake tuned his head and saw the large chef that was yelling at that man with the navy blue cap was jogging towards him. Jake screamed and he started to run towards the exit doors. The large chef yelled out, " Get that kid! He's stealing our stuff!"   
Jake was dodging cats from left to right spilling small amounts of the alien potion onto the floor. The large chef was about to catch Jake but he slipped on Jake's alien potion and slipped. He crash into the other chiefs and waiters and other chiefs and waiters bumped into other cooks who accidentally spilled sauces and food everywhere. Jake look at the mayhem, disorder, and turmoil that he caused and it look like it was out of the cartoons. He laughed aloud and exit out of the kitchen with the bowl of alien potion.   
  
Jake quickly walked towards the table that his parents were sitting at and thought he escaped the scary chef until the kitchen doors burst open and standing there was the big chef he yelled, " YOU LITTLE BRAT GET OVER HEAR NOW!"   
" Oh no!" Jake started to run away from the Chef and the chef was running after him. Jake jumped onto a chair and onto a table that was occupied by a couple of siamese cats. One of the siamese cats was yelling at Jake repeating with broken English, " You step on Spaghetti!" Jake look down and the cat was right, he was stepping on his spaghetti. Jake looked behind him and saw the chef was coming closer to him, Jake yelled, " Sorry mister!" Jake jumped to table to table causing more mayhem in the restaurant, some of the waiters were trying to stop him but Jake was to fast and caused a waiter to fling a live lobster into a womman's hair. Finally Jake reached his table and shout out,   
" LISTEN!"   
Everybody in the restaurant look at Jake, some were whispering,   
" Whose kid is that?"   
" I'm glad I decided not to have children."   
" I wanna know who's the parents is, letting him run around like that."   
  
Jeff and Amber look at Jake dumbfounded, Amber whispered to Jake, " Hey is your brother adopted or something? He's weird." Jeff never felt so embarrass in his life he buried his face in his arms and mumbled, " Holy cats Jake why now? Why now?". Mom looked really angry she didn't want to yell at Jake so she wouldn't cause more commotion so she whispered, " Jacoby what are you doing!? Don't you remember what we talked about before we got inside? Get down here this instant young man or you'll be in big trouble!"   
" I cant mom, I have ta do this! Josie's an alien under disguise and the only way I can get rid of her or it is to pour this!" Jake ran down the edge of the table where Josie was sitting. Unaware of what was happening, Josie took a round piece of bread, giggled, and threw it at Jake.   
" That's the last time you will throw something at me Josie! Be prepared to MELT!""   
Jake pored the alien potion on top of Josie's head and it covered Josie from head to toe. Everybody in the restaurant gasped and stared. Jake laughed triumphantly, " Bingo! My premobileoperation is completed! Josie melt- huh?"   
A pair of eyes was the only thing that could be seen through the blob of mixed puddings and stuff. The mess made a wide smile and then a giggle...Josie didn't melt.   
" H-hey your suppose to melt! I did everything right, maybe I wasn't suppose to put in the tapioca first." Said Jake sadly. Josie took a scoop of the alien potion and was about to fling it at Jake until he duck. The goo didn't hit it intended target, but it did hit Mr. Houston right in the face. Quickly Dad picked up Jake from off the table and hold his waist like a suitcase, he signaled Mom and Jeff and said, " C'mon guys I think we better get out of here FAST." Mom grabbed Josie from out the high cair and smilled nervously, " Umm...Sorry Mr. and Ms. Houston-"   
Dad opened the door and continued, " Jake's-uhh-kinda not himself today. Have a good evening sir."   
Jeff got out his seat and asked, " Amber I like you a lot and I was wondering if I can have your-"   
" NO!" Amber shriek, " Your family is freaky, especially your little brother! Eww get away from me! I can't believe I liked you!"   
  
  
The car ride back home was very quiet. Everybody in the car was mad at Jake one way or the other, except for Josie she was smothered with alien potion and was eating some of it off her clothes. Mom look at Josie with disgust, " Eww, Josie don't eat that. We dont know if it can make you sick." Mom wipe some alien potion off of Josie's cheeks and she sniffed it at first. Dad look at mom and said, " Patty please don't do what I think your about to do..." And mom did, she tasted the alien potion. Everyone in the car look at Mom with blank stairs untill Jeff asked, " So...was it good?"   
When the Clawson's arrived, at there home Dad told Jeff, " Jeff go to your room."   
" But I didn't do anything, Jake did."   
" Jeff you didn't do anything wrong your father and me need to have a talk to Jake."   
Jeff smiled and asked, " Can I watch what your gonna do to him?"   
Mom and Dad gave Jeff an sharp stare and Jeff got the idea. He walked upstairs wistleing that famous funeral song.   
" Jake sit down." Mom ordered. Jake sat down onto the floor. Dad shook his head and said," Not on the floor Jake on the couch." Jake crawled up and walked over to the middle of the couch and sat. It was quiet for a couple of minutes until Mom asked, " Jake, what made you go to the kitchen, mix all that stuff up, ran like a wild animal, and pour that stuff allover your sister?"   
Jake look down on the floor and said sadly, " I don't know..."   
" Jake do you know that Mr. Houston was actually interviewing me, for a higher position?" said Dad, " Now we don't know if I'm gonna lose it or I'm gonna get fired after what you did."   
Jake started to feel really bad, he sniffed his nosed, rubbed his eyes, and said, " Sorry Mommy, sorry Daddy I didn't mean to, I just wanted Josie to go away. I thought she was an alien and it said so in the comic book I got today and I followed all the directions and it said Mommy was a host."   
Mom had to laugh at what Jake said, " The comic book said that I was a host? Jake, comic books are not real, their total fiction, make believe."   
" Why would you want to make Josie go away?" Dad ask with concern. Jake thought for awile and said, " I don't know..."   
" Jake I can tell you that Josie's not a alien one hundred precent." Assured Dad. Jake wiped his eyes and asked, " Then where did she came from?"   
Dad thought for a while and grinned, " Well Jeff came from a six pack, you came from three bottles of wine, and Josie came from three in a half bottles of champainge." Mom elebowed dad in his side.   
" Jake, I think it's time for you to go to bed. We'll deal with this tomorrow Ok." Mom said.   
Jake jumped out the couch and walked upstairs and thought, " I came from a wine bottle? What is wine anyway?"   
  
Inside Jake's room, Jake sat flat on his bed looking strait at the ceiling thinking to himself, ' Mommy's mad at me, Daddy's mad at me, even Jeff is mad at me...well I don't really care Jeff doesn't really like me much he always giving me noogies all the time.' Jake jumped off of bed and grabbed his empty book bag. He opened his drawers and took all the clothes that could fit inside his book bag and put on his red cap. He went to the door and slowly opened it, his brother was upstairs in his room talking on the phone to one of his friends about what happen, and his parents had the TV on and Jake can hear his parents talking to each other. Jake walked out of his room and thought, ' Maybe Mommy and Daddy would be happy if I disappeared.'   
Jake was walking down the hallway and was about to walk down the stairs until he passed by Josie's room. Jake knew he would probably be in trouble if Mom or Dad found Jake in Josie's room but he thought he was going to run away so what could they do. Jake opened the door and walked inside.   
Josie's room use to be Jake's old room until Josie was born, it use to be a pale blue but now the walls were repainted a light pink, like Jake's room Josie's didn't have wall to wall carpeting and unlike Jake, she had new clothes and new toys. Jake walk up to her crib and he seen a clean sleeping baby kitten under her pink blanket.   
" Josie? Are you awake? Wispered Jake. Josie slowly opened her eyes and babbled something, preciously holding her blanket close to her.   
" Josie, I'm sorry I poured that stuff all over you." Said Jake.   
Josie clapped, smiled, and made more noise.   
" See Josie I'm gonna go away. I don't think Mom and Dad like me no more and I don't want to bother them so I think I'm gonna join the circus..."   
Josie look at Jake with her sad big black (or yellow, or whaever) colored eyes, drooling at the corner of her mouth.   
" I just came in her to tell you that you can have all my clothes and stuff and don't let Jeff have it. Bye bye Josie, see ya around when the circus comes in town." Jake started to walk away until Josie started crying softly. Jake stop and wispered, " Josie stop cryin' it's better for the two of us. You get to have two rooms, and Mom and Dad can give you more stuff for Christmas, and- Josie why are you still cryin'?"   
Josie's eyes were getting puffy from her tears; she was raising her hands trying to reach up to Jake. Jake walked towards Josie's crib and look down on Josie and asked, " You want to go with me? You cant your too little and you cant read, or talk or anything, your just a...baby kitten."   
Jake started to feal guilty of leaveing Josie behind, she was only just a little baby kitten and with Jeff around he could end up torturing her for the rest of her life. He grabbed Josie out of the crib and hold her in his arms and said, " Ok, Ok Josie please stop cryin'. If you get this sad when cats leave then I'll stay. Ok?" Josie rubbed her eyes, smiled and giggled. " Hey you stop cryin'...Hey Josie you wanna go see the comic that called you an alien?" asked Jake. Josie nod her head, wiggled, drooled and smiled.   
  
  
The next day Josie and Jake was on his bed looking at a pile of comic books Jake grabbed Issue number 13 and waved the book in front of Josie's face,   
" Ok, now this is called a comic book, Josie. Can you say Coommiicc Bbooookk?" Jake said while smiling. Josie babbled something and clapped happily. Jake continued, " No Josie you cant speak like that, you got to speak like me, can you say Eaarrrtthh?See this is issue number thirteen- yeah thhhiiirrrtteeeeenn Josie- want me to read it to you?"   
Josie giggled happily and started clapping, so Jake considered it as a yes. He grabbed Josie and let her sat next to him and was about to start reading until Dad open his door, " Jake, are you and Josie doing ok?"   
" Yep. I'm teaching Josie how to read." Jake said casually, while Josie was grabbing one of Jake's old comic books and started gnawing on it..   
" Well I just want to let you know that your still on lockdown in your room alright." Dad said. All of a sudden, Mom yelled from the bathroom, " Jonathan! My toe is stuck in the drainer! Help me take it out!"   
" You're stuck in the tub again!" Jeff laughed. Mom was being serious but then she started to laugh, " It's not funny Jeffery my toe is stuck help!"   
Dad gave a sigh and laughed, " Your Mother's stuck in the tub again, well good luck on teaching Josie how to read."   
" Dad did you ever get fired?" Jake asked. Dad smiled and told Jake, " Well last night Mr. Houston called and he told me last night was the funniest thing he ever experience in his life. Now I'm a signal light electrician engineer."   
" What's that?"   
" I'm the guy who change the bulbs on the stoplights." Dad said proudly, " C'ya son I got to go save your Mother."   
" Jonathan Clawson! Get in this bathroom right now!" Mom laughed, " I'm really...stuck."   
Dad closed the door and singed, " Here I come to save the day!"   
" Help!" Mom yelled still laughing at herself. Jake continued teaching Josie to read. Over the noise and of Dad trying to pull Mom toe out of the tub, Jeff laughing his guts out and Mom laughing at herself. Jake smiled at his alien sister, who was happily giggling at Jake, and said, " Your gonna like livin' her Josie... Oh yeah I gotta tell you about this disease called Cooties, oh and I gotta teach you how to sing Bingo and it goes like this Josie..."   
Jake started to sing his favorite song in the wrold, which was Bingo, to Josie.   
And this day was just like any normal day in Jake's house on 357 Beginnings Street in Mega Kat City.   
  
  
The End   
  
**Kinaki is a rural place twenty hours South of Mega Kat City...has a lot of cows and farms and pretty houses...VERY boaring place.   
  
  
  
  
So how did you like the story!? Did anybody seen the "special" charaters in the story? Was it good or did it suck. Like always I don't care how you rated this or review it or whatever! Well c'ya! Guys   
  
Jerseygirl


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